An Officer and an Idiot
by MotatoPotato
Summary: SJ. Vignette 3. Good times to be had for all.


**Title: **An Officer and an Idiot

**Author: **MotatoPotato

**Spoilers: **Spoil-free

**Season: ** 9-10

**Warnings: **SJ Ship. Companion to _Ambush_. Some language.

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. Sadly. I only twist what is there.

**Notes: **First SG-1 fic. This is the third in a series of same universe vignettes.

**Please tell me what you think...it's how I improve. Enjoy! **

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Jack took a hefty swallow of his drink resisting the urge to run faster than if there were a goa'uld nipping at his heels. But, this was fight or flight. He had never really been a flight kind of guy (unless you counted aircraft). He irritably adjusted his tie giving a silent sigh of resignation. He checked his watch (not so discreetly) and turned to stare unseeingly around the room.

He leaned forward onto the bar and absently tapped his restless fingers repeatedly. Another General slid in beside him. Jack bit back a pained moan when the guy (whom he thought was named Robert Morse) stuck his hand in his face. "Hello."

Jack pasted a rather strained pleasant look on his face. "Hello".

Robert's face twisted a bit with his own self-importance. "And what is it you do?"

Jack looked down at him. "That's classified".

The guy rolled his eyes. "Yeah whatever. That usually means a dead end job. Nothing exciting. Bet you have the dullest assignment, right buddy?" Jack remained silent trying to gather all the patience he could muster.

Robert didn't let that hinder him though. "So how does a nobody like you get an invite to the President's birthday party?"

Jack spared him a glance. "Must be my boyish figure".

The other General gave him a haughty look. "I work as the head of a very secret department." Jack raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever heard of something called…" He lowered his voice. "Homeworld Security?" Jack looked at him semi-incredulously. Robert continued taking his silence as a no. "I run the whole thing."

Jack just stared at him.

"I know, It's great right?" The man practically swelled with his own ego. "I bet whatever you do is just as important. To someone."

Jack laughed shortly. "Yes. To someone." They both looked up as someone approached.

Robert seemed a bit blustery as the President reached them. "Ah! Mr. President I-" Henry Hayes interrupted smoothly. "Jack! So glad you made it. Where is Colonel Carter?"

Jack looked irritated and it was all Hayes could do not to burst into hysterical laughter at the expression. "Oh, running a bit late. Should be here later though."

Morse looked decidedly unhappy. "Mr. President I-"

Henry Hayes once again interrupted easily, noting the amused gleam that surfaced in Jack's dark brown eyes. "Jack how's the new position treating you? I realize the past year has been fairly chaotic. You however have been doing a remarkable job."

Robert now looked murderously in Jack's direction. "Oh, you never did tell me what you do," he said in what he thought was a sly manner.

"Classified." Jack said just as Hayes said "Head of Homeworld Security".

Morse looked a bit green. "Uhm, Men's room," he muttered and scampered off.

"Thank God!" Jack breathed. "Little shrub."

Henry smirked. "I believe that would be 'Thank Henry', Jack."

O'Neill scrubbed his hands through his hair leaving it a bit ruffled. "Ha-ha. You heard that whole exchange didn't you? That guy just broke so many laws." Henry just grinned like a Cheshire cat and shook Jack's hand excusing himself.

Just as he breathed a large sigh of relief, the man next to him spoke up. "That man is half weasel, I'd stake my life on it. Joshua Miller." He extended a hand.

Jack grasped and shook it. "Jack O'Neill. Don't worry, I'm not gonna ask what you do."

Joshua laughed. "Well thanks be for that!" They then sipped their drinks in silence before Joshua spoke up. "Holy red dress, would you look at that blonde!" He let out a low whistle in emphasis. Jack looked over to where the blonde stood with several other women and just rolled his eyes. //I'll be sure to add him to the Sam Carter fan club registry when I get home.//

Suddenly he got an evil glint in his eye. "That's Sam. She's an astrophysicist." Joshua gaped. Jack straightened. "I'm going over."

Sam finally arrived two hours late in a fairly rough temper. She felt bad for stranding Jack in this shark tank. //Not that any of those sharks would be safe from Jack!// She scanned the room but didn't see him anywhere. She was heading towards the bar when she heard a voice call her name. She turned to see a woman, Marie Downy, that she had worked with at the Pentagon before her transfer to Cheyenne Mountain.

"Sam!" she threw her arms around her. "It is so good to see you! I was beginning to think you'd fallen off the face of the earth!"

Sam smiled. "Nice to see you! And nope, just busy."

Marie beamed. "Come meet some of the girls I work with!" Sam was led to a group of five women and was introduced around. They were discussing one of the Generals.

"Oooo that man is delicious! I have a mind to go over there and take him home!" one licked her lips.

"And a two-star. Bet he's hot in bed..."

Another piped in with "Waaaaaay better looking than any of the other Generals..."

Then they all began to squeal. "Oh my god! The President is over there chatting with him!!! He must be soooo powerful!"

Sam turned and craned he neck trying to see who they were talking about. And promptly bit back a burst of laughter. Oh yeah. They were after Jack. Sam smiled politely and asked who they were talking about. One of the younger women, Debbie, pointed out Jack.

"Ah..."

Debbie rolled her eyes. "That's all you have to say?! Damn girl, look at those dimples. That man is pure eye candy!" Picturing Jack's face if he heard himself being called eye candy, Sam let out a strangled cough, blinking back tears with the effort.

Another woman, Sarah, hissed "Oh my god! He's coming over here!!" All of a sudden there was a frenzied whispering amongst the group. Sam stood next to Marie and tried to hang onto her dignity.

Jack made his way through the crowd focused on Sam. She turned to him as he looked at her and the whole room disappeared. Until Debbie dug her nails into Sam's arm and hissed "Oh no, don't even think about it. I saw him first!"

He was there then, standing in front of Sam. He nodded to the group. "Ladies. Hope you don't mind if I borrow my wife for a bit." For the life of him he had no idea what he had said to put equal parts murderous and grief-stricken looks on their faces. Or why Sam was looking like she was about to lose it.

As he led her away he tipped her chin up for a slow kiss and simply asked "What just happened there?"

She looked up into his warm brown gaze, smiled sweetly and wrapped an arm about his waist. "I took eye candy from a baby."


End file.
